If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
