After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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