did you get engaged???
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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