Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
