I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
