I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
