she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
