i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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