jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
