Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
