Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
