she smelled like a LAN party
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
