he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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