Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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