Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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