I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
