hotel room ftw
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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