so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
