I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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