just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
