All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
