It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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