I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
