I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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