bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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