woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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