uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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