And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
