I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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