we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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