On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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