You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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