Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i now understand why vodka
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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