They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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