I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
