Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
