Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
