Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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