He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
