no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
