So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
