I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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