No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
