i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
