you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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