I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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