watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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