Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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