he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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