i would punch a child for taco bell
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
