I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
